Mascara!

Just finished a tube of L’Oreal Paris Double Extend Lash Boosting Mascara. Apparently I needed to use the white end more often and within a month it would have given me lusher lashes. But I mainly just used the mascara end and I guess it was good but the other night I was in Macy's (which almost NEVER happens) and I was near the Lancome counter so I bought some Definicils. I used it yesterday for the first time and it is not nearly as good as I remember. Sigh. After 2 coats, my eyelashes still looked practically bald. When this tube is done (and at $24.50 I will be tempted to use it for longer than a month) I am going to give the L’Oreal Paris Double Extend Lash Boosting Mascara another go, this time using the white end on a daily basis.

A toute a l'heure

CAM

It's cold out plus mascara

My current mascara, which I read about in some magazine, is Almay One Coat Dial Up. It has 3 settings, to allow you to pick how much mascara to put on the lashes. Of course the only setting that makes me look like I even HAVE lashes is #3. No big shock. I am going to buy some more today, because CVS sent me a coupon for 20% off my entire purchase and I have been using this mascara for over a month now. Must do some research as to what to buy next.

It is freezing out, which means it is freezing in. I really need new windows, but do I want new windows more than I want to go to NZ next summer? I think not. Better to crank up the heat, the electric radiator and the gas fireplace for now. If Problem Child moved out it would be warmer in here because I could close the pocket doors and zone off the foyer from whence comes much draft. But he shows no signs of moving out. At what age will I finally throw him out? What do I owe to this surly adult child who seems incapable of navigating life even with my help?

So I continue to go to the gym a lot (I have been there at least 4x a week since I rejoined, and some weeks it was 6x), with absolutely no noticeable results. I don't feel more energized. Cardio still kills me. I am increasing the weights though so I know I am getting stronger, but I look the same, sadly. I have been returning to the trainer on Tuesday nights as well. I think this past week was the 4th consecutive week post-surgery, so yay me. Returned to WW a few times, nothing consistent. I NEED to lose because airplane seats are too tight for me now and that it the worst. I mean I fit in them and all but I feel like I am killing the person next to me. I just take up too much space on this planet. I look like hell and I hate wearing plus sized clothes. Tony Robbins says that when the pain of not doing something becomes worse than the pain of doing something, that's when you will do something, but let's face it, he is an idiot. A crafty, wealthy idiot but still. Snake oil salesman at best, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Dick Winters did a lot of reflection and it seems like I do the same, but it doesn't seem to spur me to action. I hate the way I look and I dislike my employer yet here I sit year after year. I know what the problems are and how to fix them but I fail to take the necessary steps. I am finally taking necessary steps to improve the way I look by exercising and going to WW, but it takes so long to see results that I fear another failure. Let's face it, the only way I lost weight in the past was via phen fen or however you spell it. And changing jobs is SCARY. And I don't like scary. Some people thrive on change but it seems I avoid it. There are so many benefits to my current job that it seems foolish to risk everything just to have a job I actually LIKE. So, fears (or is it just inertia?) wins the day. Although at work I am starting to "drink the koolaid" a little bit in the hopes of getting ahead a little bit. There is not a real path for me though at work. Getting ahead at this time means getting an AVP title, but that doesn't even come with more vacation; just a little recognition. My intense fear of the CEO means I won't progress too much though.

Still trying to console rather than be consoled, to understand rather than be understood and to love with all my soul rather than to seek to be loved. This is hard to put into practice though and the ideas are just hazy enough that I am not sure exactly what I need to do. Does it just mean to be empathetic and not complain? I am also trying to be more forgiving, because it is in pardoning that we are pardoned. But I don't think this means to just let people walk all over me. So does it mean to let go of past hurts and betrayals? Does it mean I should let Evil Sister treat me the way she tends to do? These are things to reflect on and to perhaps study a bit. But am I doing too much at once? Sometimes I think I can only handle one change at a time and right now I am pretty much trying to change my body & health at the same time I am trying to improve my position at work at the same time I am trying to change my entire philosophy to the philosophy explained in the Prayer of St. Francis. Which, by the way, he did not even write. I have been praying to him to help me with this.

Time to research mascara and then get to the gym. On a Sunday.

A toute a l'heure

CAM

Working and working

Back to work, still working on the knee. I joined the gym and went twice in 3 days. Yay me. If I was going to complain, it would be about my difficulty falling and staying asleep but I am not going to complain. I ask to seek not to be consoled, but to console, and complaining hardly fits into that plan. There's no one here to be consoled at this precise moment, but I need to get into the habit.

Took nephew # 3 to a redneck party the other day. ATV, dirt bike, 28 acres, keg! What's not to like? He was great and he had a great time. I love kids.

So, Band of Brothers. Dick Winters and Doc Roe are my heroes. I ordered 4 Easy Company books from Amazon and they came today.

Cannot wait.

A toute a l'heure,

CAM

Band of Brothers

Well, I have found a new obsession. Was there ever any doubt? Gripping storytelling, truth-is-stranger-than-fiction, plus lots of pretty, pretty boys. And I learned more about the ETO of WWII than I ever did in class. A dramatization will do that. Much better than The Pacific, although equally harrowing. Why was it better? I guess because it stayed with one Company rather than skipping around between 1st Marines, 5th Marines, 7th Marines. And the shallow part of me acknowledges that BoB had more cute guys. So this past week (the final week of recuperation) has been spent reading about Bastogne, the 101st Airborne, etc. And crying. I rarely cry, but I DEFY anyone to watch part 9, "Why We Fight" and not completely lose it. I was totally unprepared for the fact that D-Day paratroopers eventually went to Germany and liberated a concentration camp. Shame on me for not knowing history.

Anyway, zorbing last week was great. Not that I participated but the chilluns just loved it. Niece said it was her favorite activity of the day, nephew said it was a tie with paint ball. Ski Roundtop was definitely a hit with the younger generation. I did nothing all day but sit. I didn't even drive; my friend drove (her daughter was one of the participants in the fun, along with my niece and nephew). I was exhausted from all that sitting! No really. It was by far the longest day I'd had since before surgery.

So back to work tomorrow. Boo ya.

A toute a l'heure.

CAM

Recuperating

Knee surgery was August 4th, followed by a hospital stay until the 7th and then a rehab facility until the 23rd. Wish I was still there actually. They served me breakfast in bed each day and I didn't have to clean anything. And now I am home and bored. Doing outpatient PT and getting stronger every day. Still bored and sick of thinking about my knee. I can't drive or go back to work yet, but both things should happen soon.

I watched the HBO miniseries The Pacific this week while at home and it was just great. Really SHOWED the "horrors of war". I never really knew much about WWII in the Pacific. Next up: Band of Brothers, about WWII in Europe. I watched Wonderfalls last week and that was a really good, fun show. Too bad it only ran for one short season.

Notice I did not say either show was "awesome" or "amazing", two words that should probably go into retirement or at least a long hibernation. I was watching Who's The Boss this week (yes, it's come to this) and the daughter told Tony Danza that "awesome" was OUT and this was like 1988!!!!! I remember a woman named Rose Thomas being the first one I ever heard use "awesome" and I worked with her from like 1981-1985. So, my younger son was not even born yet when I first heard it used, and now here we are all these years later, still abusing the term. Why don't we say something is the bee's knees or the cat's pajamas? Or are terms from 60 (or whatever) years ago somehow too passe, but something from 25 years ago is still ok? Who decides this stuff? How about "groovy"? Or is 45 years old too old for a term? Far out? Cool? Tubular? And when DID everyone start saying everything was "amazing"?

Not that I mean this blog to consist of Andy Rooney or Jerry Seinfeld type rants. I don't mean this blog to consist of anything except what I feel like writing plus a kind of journal so I can remember stuff.

Taking a niece and nephew zorbing tomorrow! Will report back.

A toute a l'heure,

CAM

Branson

Well I had fun. That was because I liked the people I was with; NOT because the weather was good! They were having a heatwave there and it was like 100 degrees every day with very high humidity.

The road trip was good. Had a couple of very minor disagreements with my road buddy. I was on my best behavior so I did not lash out or otherwise express my minor frustrations inappropriately. Good for me. I have been a bitch in the past. Actually, the road buddy is a very sweet person so it was not that hard. However, she kept telling me to get gas when there was more than half a tank!! Some things are just so inexplicable and that was one of them. I mean, we were traveling on interstates, not in Siberia. The other thing is that she kind of thinks out loud, a stream of consciousness thing that can be annoying, especially if I am trying to read. All in all though, these things are easily overlooked because she is such a great person.

Now, Branson is in the Ozarks, which means it is a very pretty setting, but boy is the town itself tacky looking! And the food was bad, bad, bad. There were all these "country buffet" places with canned fruit and vegetables and gross (IMO) meat like catfish. Also a lot of stuff was fried. I had a good meal the first night at a steakhouse on Branson Landing, which is the upscale shopping/dining area. I had a burger of course. We ate outside to see the "fire and water" show on the lake and it was so hot!! And you could actually feel the heat when they did the "fire" part. After Branson Landing, the rest of the dining was bad! We had Sunday "brunch" at the Plantation Restaurant and it was awful. Not my idea of brunch at all, but when in Rome.....

Branson is very God and country which was ok. It IS in the bible belt, after all, which I did not realize until I was there. Of course, I am not against God or country, but it was a bit much. Very wholesome and family friendly. I mean, there was no alcohol served at any of the shows, and we saw five of them. The first three shows are only worth mentioning in order to record that I was there:

1-the show on the Branson Belle paddleboat steamship or whatever it was. Dinner was awful, but they had to serve something like 700 people the same dinner, so what could we expect? The ventriloquist Todd Oliver was funnier than expected and the Broadway medley done by a very enthusiastic quartet was cute.

2-The Dixie Stampede: ok, kind of cute, bad food, not worth the money (IMO)

3-Cirque Montage-kind of a low rent Cirque du Soleil, with a funny juggler named Lucas as the opening act. Oh no, wait, Lucas was the opening act for the Dixie Stampede.

Well, I went to a time share presentation AND a travel club presentation, said no extremely firmly, and got a bunch of deals on tickets for all 3 of us, so no big loss. But if Branson is famous for its shows, you would think they would be better. Maybe I am just spoiled by easy access to Broadway although I am hardly what you'd call "cultured". It is hard to explain this w/o sounding pretentious or elitist or both.

By the way, the 3rd person, with whom we met up in Branson, was fun. Definitely opinionated, but since I am the same way I can hardly call it a flaw. Best part: she slept in the living room on the couch all week, which allowed me to have a room all to myself!! Woo! She was easy to get along with, so either she is really sweet, or she was just on her best behavior. Either way, I appreciated it. I had never met her before; she was a high school friend of my road buddy (the person who owned the time share)

So show #4 was "Noah" at the Sound and Light Theatre. (there is also one in Lancaster, PA, which is 50 or 60 miles from here, but I have never been.). It was pretty bad--the script, the acting, the music. But I liked the staging with the tiers of animals all around the audience. Well, on 3 sides. And at the end, they invited people to come forward to be reborn or just to pray. According to ma mere, who is quite Catholic, this does not happen at the one in Lancaster, where she has seen a few shows.

So far, all 4 shows were kind of duds. And then, we saw "Six", about which I'd heard excellent things. I really enjoyed that one. 6 singing brothers do an a cappella show, where they actually make their voices sound like musical instruments. Impressive and fun. Of course they ended their show in typical Branson way by asking all vets to stand for applause (which I like and appreciate) and by doing a religious number. Ok, Branson is all about that. The brothers said they like playing Branson because they can talk about God out in the open or something like that and I thought, where in the USA can't they do that? They might have meant that they could do it in other places, but that it would not be appreciated as part of a show. Anyway, I bought one of their CDs at intermission and got 3 of them to autograph it. They were not really that friendly when they signed it. What the hell though; I was not there to make friends with them.

So, our last night there we finally got to the pool, which was great. We had been too booked up with shows before that (and I only wanted to go at night for obvious reasons).

Then we got back on the road the next day, took the well-behaved friend to the airport and set off to do our trip backwards. It was surprisingly hard to read the trip-tik (from AAA) backwards, so I was lucky to have written down directions from google maps. What a boring ride scenery wise!!! A lot of flat, although there were some mountains in MO, WV and PA. Of course, when there were mountains I was scared and when it was flat I was bored. Also, both ways, Indiana had non-stop heat lightning. It must be kind of eerie to live in Indiana, at least along route 70.

Branson is full of tourist trap "craft villages" that have crappy crafts for sale. I mean, just cheap junk. Some of the stores were fun though, like Dick's Five and Dime, where I bought Route 66 refrigerator magnets and some shot glasses for the offspring (and offspring #1's girlfriend). Actually, that was the only store that was fun. There is an Avon store in Branson! I was excited to see it, but it was disappointingly boring and not well stocked. I did get a couple things, but the thrill just was not there.

Some people go to Branson every year, and I just don't get it, but it takes all kinds, to each his own, Johnny Walker red/Johnny Walker black, etc.

I bought a cooler just before we left, so we were able to keep diet soda and snacks cold and save on some meals on the road. We also went food shopping in Branson and had some meals at the fully equipped time share. The resort was pretty nice but I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have had I not been melting every time I stepped outside. Road buddy did a lot of cooking but unfortunately I don't like a lot of the things she likes so I hope I did not hurt her feelings.

I have no wish to return to Branson, but I'm glad I went. It was certainly an inexpensive trip---free place to stay, about $250 in gas (road buddy paid about $65 of this, by subterfuge. I really wanted to pay for all the gas because she owns the time share and did not ask us to pay anything to stay there with her), $40 in tolls, and the shows. Not bad. Oh, she paid for the Motel 6 in Effingham, IL (all we could get w/o reservations) on the way there, and I paid for the Hilton in Terre Haute on the way back.

Next up: total knee replacement surgery on August 4. Can't wait

Leaving tomorrow

Yee haw! I am headed to Branson, MO tomorrow.

It's been a long time since I took a road trip.

A toute a l'heure

CAM

Makeup reviews

The Maybelline primer and Maybelline foundation compact are working out great! I have used them for 2 days now. The Maybelline foundation compact is as good as the Cover Girl one I have used in the summer for a few years now. And the primer is as good as the Laura Mercier one I think. Thank goodness one of the drugstore brands came out with a primer, because I really don't think I can justify the expense of Laura Mercier or Smashbox.

Sadly, the Cover Girl lipstick I just bought is a bust. It's that Outlast stuff in coral silk with a separate clear gloss stick. The gloss is fine, but the coral silk is just awful. It looks like it's frosted, which I hate. It does stay on for hours, but who wants that when the color is so ugly? Now I'm afraid to try drugstore lipsticks again. I have a bunch of old lipsticks that I will drag out to see if any of the colors has come back in style. If they don't look good I guess I am back to the Paula Begoun nude illusion lipstick which I do love, but I don't like paying shipping. Nor do I like waiting for it to be shipped.

When the Estee Lauder blush stick runs out I will have to determine the best drugstore cream blush.

A toute a l'heure

CAM

It's finally raining

We really needed it. Why does google show the time of my blog posts 3 hours earlier than I actually posted? Does google think everyone lives on the P coast?

Got my hair cut and highlighted today, along with a single process. It cost $167 plus tip. It doesn't really seem worth since I don't look that good anyway, being so fat. But I look worse without all the hair care, so I do it.

I was just looking at a blog that included a section on children's books and it made me think about what a shame it is that neither of my kids loved the same books I loved as a child. Some of my nieces loved them, but not my sons. Maybe it's a gender thing. Stinkin' boys. I mean, I didn't expect them to love Nancy Drew, but what's wrong with the Lloyd Alexander Books, A Wrinkle in Time, Hubble's Bubble and on and on? If I'd had a girl I bet she would have loved The Secret Garden and A Little Princess. If I have a granddaughter someday I hope she comes to my house all the time. I want to have a room for her filled with all the great books, and pink stuff and shiny stuff. And an AMAZING dollhouse. I bought dollhouses for 2 of my nieces, but they never really got into it.

It's too bad my kids and my imaginary granddaughter will never experience the thrill and anticipation of the Sears Wish Book! I really think I had a better childhood than anyone else in the history of the world and I feel bad that my kids' was so much worse than mine. I had a stay-at-home mom and a world where kids could go out for hours and hours without their moms necessarily knowing where they were. And of course, I had the Sears Wish Book, my own room and 2 weeks down the shore every year. At least my kids had their own rooms and short weeks down the shore (M-F). We used to sublet during the week from people who had group rentals and were only there on the weekends. It hardly made up for the lack of a father in their lives of course, but it was something.

If I win the lottery I am going to buy 2 beach houses; one little one for me and one big one for everyone else. Maybe I will get a 3rd one to use as just a party house or maybe I will get a separate one for my sons, but in any event, there will be beach houses.

There will also be a house for me, close to where I live now, but a single house with no one upstairs, downstairs or on the other side of any of my walls. That way I can sing without bothering anyone. It will be a little house but with a yard big enough for the big indoor/outdoor pool I want. I don't even know if such a thing exists but presumably I will have enough lottery winnings to have one invented if it has not been invented yet. Maybe it will have guesthouses where I can house Ma Mere and Mon Fils (the one who still lives with me). It will have a pool house with locker rooms, showers, bathrooms and a kitchen so people can come over to swim w/o having to go into the actual house. And of course there will be cabanas. I want a twisty water slide too. How about a swim-up bar? Doesn't that sound fun? I would love sitting in my cabana or around my swim-up bar watching my grandkids going down the twisty slide. I will have to get some other stuff that kids love, like rafts and games and stuff. Noodles. Oh I know, I will have a water exercise instructor come every day before I go to work!

Yes, I will still work even after I win the lottery. If I don't have a routine, I know I will go to pieces. Maybe I will donate all my salary to Invisible Children or Doctors Without Borders.

Oh and my little house will have dogs in it. Big floppy dogs and doggie treadmills so they get plenty of exercise. I will get retrievers so they will like to swim in the pool.

I think I will jet all over the world and see everything and everywhere, even places I don't think I'll like, just to see if I end up being surprised and liking them. Of course, I will first go to the places I know I will like, for example, New Zealand and Scotland. I will take a cruise too and then decide if I prefer to travel by boat or by plane. Or maybe a European river cruise would be fun. I could buy my own island and sunbathe nude.

Should I buy houses or condos or apartments in all the places I love, like NYC, SoCal and the south of France? Or just stay in hotels or rental places? So much to decide! Who will manage all this money for me? Who can I trust? Who will do my makeover for me? I hope Stacy, Clinton and Carmindy are available. I will buy a Burberry raincoat and a pair of wellies and visit every inch of the British Isles and have a pint in every pub.

I'm pretty sure I'm blogging right now because I don't feel like cleaning or like doing a workout routine.

A toute a l'heure

CAM

Bad day

So I have not told anyone about my blog. I want to keep it a secret. It's a total vanity thing and no one would be interested. My life is hardly exciting, even to me.

Someone yelled at me today at work! This never happens here; I don't work in the kind of environment where it is ok to yell at each other. It was very unexpected and I almost cried, which I almost never do. It really shook me up. My boss is angry on my behalf, which is so nice of her. The person who yelled at me is the sibling of a VERY important person so whatcha gonna do? I think he was having a bad day and maybe his job is just tough all around, but really, we just don't DO that here!

It was very busy at work today, which I usually enjoy but today it had me tearing my hair out. It's enough to make a girl want to eat a pizza. I had 3 fruits/vegetables today so yay me. The WW challenge for this month is to have 5 a day, which we are supposed to be doing anyway but I rarely reach that daily goal. Maybe I will just go home and cry?

A toute a l'heure

CAM

follow up to prior blog post

Today was my first ever blog post so I forgive myself for failing to proofread it. Of course they sell mascara at Sephora; I just didn't know if they sold Lancome mascara there. This was easy enough to check and guess what? They do sell Lancome on Sephora. The definicils mascara is $24.50, which is $10 more than the most expensive drustore mascara (the Maybelline Pulse Perfection). Now, $10 may not seem like much in the scheme of things, but since you are only supposed to keep an open tube of mascara for a month or 6 weeks, this is at least $120 more a year. Plus, most drugstore mascaras are under $10, and you see how it adds up? Not to mention I can walk to CVS and I would have to either pay for gas or postage to buy the Lancome. And how would I afford to live in Bryn Mawr and take European vacations if I was spending money on premium mascara? It's bad enough what I spend on my hair.

By the way, I do think it's pretentious to sign off my blog posts with a French phrase, to which I say, "Pretentious? Moi?"

A toute a l'heure

CAM

Drugstore mascara in 2010 part I

I started off the year with 2009's winner, Revlon Lash Fantasy. Alas, the 2nd time around, I no longer loved it. So, I read some blogs and decided to try some high scorers.

I started out in February with Maybelline Pulse Perfection. The pulse thing is hard to do because you have to press the pulse button continuously while you apply. Serious design flaw! Maybe some tricky chicks out there are coordinated enough to apply mascara while pressing a button, but not moi. It didn't put much mascara on my lashes, so it did not give me the volume I sought.

March brought the Rimmel Glam Eyes, which was just ok, not great. Turned out I bought the wrong Rimmel; I had meant to buy Rimmel Glam Eyes Lash Flirt. {Why the hell do they give their mascaras such similar names????}. The regular "Rimmel Glam Eyes" failed to wow me so for April I bought the "Rimmel Glam Eyes Lash Flirt", which got flaky by the end of the month and was just ok anyway. It was definitely better than the Glam Eyes, as it put more mascara on my lashes. I need a lot of mascara or my eyes look bald. Still, flaky is not good.

So, heeding Paula Begoun in May I bought Rimmel the Max Volume Flash. She's the Cosmetics Cop, right? So, she oughta know. Sadly, she didn't. It was gone by the end of day! That is a problem for me. I do not want bald lashes at 5 PM. Still, I used it through the month in order to continue with my scientific research. I still didn't think much of it by the end of the month.

It was summer by the end of the month anyway and time for some waterproof mascara which I need because A) I might go swimming and B) I perspire in Philly's damn summer weather. Ok, I say hell and damn, which my sister thinks makes me a bad influence on her kids, but come on! I say much worse when they're not around. Plus my sister reprimanded me the other night for asking if my ex-husband's current wife had green teeth (a legitimate question IMO, because my older son's ex-girlfriend Amy told me she did, and I never followed up so to this day I don't know if Amy was exaggerating. I mean I ASSUME she was, but she did say it and she is not a mean person) in front of her kids but later the same night she allowed daughter #1 to talk about prostitutes and hookers in front of daughter #2 and son #2 and I ask you: which is worse???? Prostitutes & hookers or green teeth??? Sometimes I think my sister LOOKS for things to disapprove of, especially when it comes to me.

So I read Good Housekeeping's review of waterproof mascaras and decided on Cover Girl Exact Highlights waterproof. Now this was a dilemma when I arrived at CVS, because they were on a "buy one, get the 2nd for 50%" sale so what to do? Give up the sale because I might not like the mascara? Give up the sale because my scientific research into drugstore mascara called for a different mascara each month? In the end, my penny pinching tendencies won out and I bought two. It's now July 9 and I am still on the 1st tube (which I started to use on June 15) and it is doing ok. It's waterproof alright, but it takes a lot of work to make it darken my lashes at all.

And this marks 18 months of research into drugstore mascara. At some point I know I am going to have to conclude that there is no great drugstore mascara and go buy some Lancome Definicils. I hate that thought. I don't like paying Lancome prices and I HATE going to the mall. I also hate paying delivery charges so it's not like I'm going to buy it at sephora.com. (if they even sell mascara at Sephora). It just doesn't seem right.

A toute a l'heure

CAM